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|Tuesday, February 5th, 2013|
|Dusting off LJ cobwebs with this trippy dream report
I started off in the body of a girl at the age of maybe 14-15 and I was talking to 2 other girls. We got in a car and drove to a house, then went inside. No one was inside. While I was inside looking around, the two other girls got back in the car (distinctly a VW Beetle) and drove off to school without me. I ran off in the general direction that they went but, I had no idea where the school was. I was already over an hour late and had to stop and ask people for directions. I got the impression that it was the late 80’s. I was pointed in the direction of a square-dominated architecture, drab grey part of town and a pedestrian bridge across buildings I would have to pass over to reach the school. On the way there I saw an unkempt looking older white man with gray hair smoking a cigarette off from the bridge. I avoided him by walking faster and averting my attention to him and crossed the bridge. I finally reach the school and tell someone in the office I had been sick, very sick, to the point of almost forgetting who I was and where I was supposed to be. I was told where to go. I went to that room and spoke to the teacher, telling her I didn’t know where to go next. She told me where to go, but grabbed me and said I had to sign off on a form accepting my current grade in her class. I had all A’s on some sort of written assignment, but still a D overall in the class. I started to sign my name Ryan Lawson, become confused by that, then scratched it out and signed Geisa ‘uknown’ (in the dream I could distinctly see the cursive name Geisa, but the last name was a blur of cursive letters. In the dream I distinctly recognize the name as being a German last name. I do not know the name Geisa or anyone by that name and as best as I can tell have never heard the name before). I went on to the next class and it was some sort of gym with weights and weight lifting equipment. There were several boys there and I think some of them started to tease and taunt me. At this point I begin to realize I am in possession of some sort of new awareness and power as though I can augment or control this girl’s body and mind with my own mental and physical power and I am going to get in shape and become smarter and stronger than anyone would have believed and punish these people for mistreating me. In some vague way I rebuff the people taunting me.
At the this point I am startled by a loud bang that sounds like a shotgun blast going off outside and what sounded like a very loud dog yelp about 20 seconds later. These sounds disturb me in general and I am angry about being woken from the dream. I wanted to see what happened next, to see the new potential unfold. Attempts to re-enter the dream fail.
Doing a search of Geisa reveals a German town of the same name and that the word Geisa is old Norse for rage or fury and is related to the term geist as in poltergeist.
|Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009|
|Whispers in the darkness
those dreams and you know its something crazy your subconscious has observed. You can see it and it is amazing, but it is gone when you wake up. Like some clouds slipping just around the corner.
I think the internet is the new world order. The strange levels of self organization you see! Mssively multiplayer games, news flow and blogging baffle the mind sometimes. If only that same level of organization could be unleashed as simultaneous action on a worldwide scale. Ha! But who or what leads the internets?
|Tuesday, April 7th, 2009|
Anybody want any of this stuff?
1. Art desk in good condition
2. An HP flatbed scanner about 6 years old, still works fine and its 32 bit color resolution but only compatible with computers at least 6 years old
3. A vcr, dunno if it works its been in storage for a few years, but it worked last time it was used
4. A 3 year old computer that needs a little work but could be a good gaming computer or used for parts on a newer computer
5. A generic stereo with dual casette player and 3 cd disc changer
|Saturday, March 28th, 2009|
|Sums up my feelings
The best summary of my feelings by dolphinfan on abovetopsecret forums.
"It is offensive to suggest that anyone with a reasonable concern about the president is racist. What were the folks who were complaining about Bush 60 days in? It is racist to suggest that he not be criticized and it is subtle racism to suggest that in having concerns and articulating them makes you racist. It is an overt racism to suggest that he not be criticized because of his ethnicity, which whether or not you realize it or not, you are doing.
This administration has gotten off to a poor start. Please remember that Obama was elected on 11/4/08 whilst we were in the middle of a financial meltdown. It is now 3/22/09 and we still don't have a senior team in Treasury. No under-secretaries, nobody interested in taking the jobs or willing to support the policies. How can the economy be fixed when we have no team in place to fix it. If you're counting, thats 6 months.
The markets are down 1/4 since the day Obama took office. They are reacting to his policies and his team. The markets operate on one thing and that is confidence. There is a confidence problem with this administration.
Several significant promises made by this administration have been broken.
- No earmarks - nope
- full transparency in government - nope
- 5 days of opportunity to review the bail-out bill prior to having congress vote on it so that citizens could reach out to their representatives and let them know what they thought about it - nope
- no lobbyists in the administration - nope
What is it now, 6 nominees who have had to pull out or decided to pull out? What high-schooler is running the vetting process?
Now we're in to this dance 60 days and we have a secretary of the treasury who is dead man walking. Can't get rid of him because he has nobody to replace him with. Here's a dude who cheated on his taxes and yet runs the IRS. Now we find out that he was in the loop on this AIG bonus deal all along. First he doesn't know about it. Then we find out that he did in fact know about it. Now Dodd's saying the Treasury pressured him to adopt the language protecting the bonuses.
Democrats are beginning to distance themselves from this administration and 60 days in, that is not a good sign.
I fully support any President. I hope that this President goes down in history as one of the greatest we've ever had. I do expect that the leader of the free world, who has taken office in one of the most challenging times we have had adopt a serious tone and not joke on entertainment television shows tell folks he's been practicing his bowling and tell folks he filled out his NCAA bracket and that there is a very good chance that he'll catch some games.
This is not a joke and fantastic, teleprompter driven speeches don't fix the serious problems we have. Neither do daily town-hall meetings or figuring out what to plant in your White House victory garden or how old the Portuguese Water Dog is going to be when you get it. I realize that folks are interested in this stuff, but at some point we need to get beyond the form and get a bit of substance.
If you want to make some money, place a market open order selling the S&P 500 short. Geitner is in front of congress tomorrow talking about his banking bail-out package along with his plan to manage the compensation of public companies. The market is going to love that."
"They conducted rituals up on the roof. Bizarre rituals, intended to bring about the *end of the world*, and now it looks like it might actually happen." - Egon Spengler
|Saturday, March 14th, 2009|
|Dreams, random or packed full of yummy meaning?
I rarely remember my dreams anymore unless it involves zombies. For some reason I remember my dreams from the other night, maybe because I was reading a book about dreams having access to genetic knowledge. It took me a couple of days thinking on it to piece all the details back together.
In this first dream I was a native american warrior and I was being chased by these two other men. As I was running from them I came to a lake and dove in to swim away from them. One dove in after me and we started fighting underwater, he had some sort of knife and I managed to almost knock him out and get away. As I broke the surface again the second guy started shooting arrows at me from the shore. As I dove back underwater the first guy was grabbing at me again. I saw, kind of floating in the water next to me, one of the arrows that had grazed my head but missed. I grabbed it and shoved into the guys neck and into his head. It was pretty visceral. I started to swim away and made it to the other shore, but more people were waiting for me and I got captured and tied up. Then the dream kind of skipped forward to this older, 50ish, native man telling this story to a bunch of old white guys at what seemed like a gathering of the VFW or something.
Abruptly this dream got broken into by another dream in which I'm wearing a German military uniform (WW 1 or 2, I can't tell) and this other German officer in uniform walks up to me, hands me an envelope and says, "Make sure this letter gets to my very good friend, Adolf French."
Not sure what to make of this.
|Wednesday, December 31st, 2008|
|The implications are staggering
Not only did I not know some of these things about sound, but the idea of two-way communication with the most intelligent creatures on Earth aside from humans... wow. In a fashion, we can already talk to dogs, cats, horses and elephants. Anyone that has ever had a pet has known this, the languages are very limited and instinctual. We have even taught a limited sign language to primates. Dolphins and whales though have a language almost as complicated as our own and it might possibly even be a taught culture. http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/12/081231005531.htm
|Sunday, October 12th, 2008|
|Is this insane?
I totally just jacked the fuck out of a cockroach with my shoe as it was crawling across my computer desk. It is utterly incapable of harming me in just about any way given a few incredibly rare events we could neglect. It would intentionally have to be doing me harm. But it has no such intelligence or capability of intent. Nothing else in nature would react in such a way as I have? Where does this irrationality come from?
|Sunday, August 24th, 2008|
|Slaying terrists with rainbows and lollipos since 1996
Last weekend I went down to Tuscaloosa for a visit that turned into a spontaneous reunion of sorts. It was good to hang out with people I haven't seen in 8 years. I think the quote of the trip was, "Big poopy!"
Normally when I'm smokin my cloves people complain, but in the past two weeks I've had at least five strangers ask me to bum one cause they love the smell. It culminated in some chick stealing my pack at Speakeasy on Thursday night. I tracked her down and told her that I love cloves and asked if I could bum one off of her. She was happy to oblige.
Then Stacey Dacheaux busted up into the Speakeasy and we ended up talking for quite a while to make up for the last three years of near zero communication. Somehow I wound up in a drunken conversation of astrophysics with someone I barely know and a total stranger. It seems charge is THE SPARK!!! according to stranger guy with no formal training in science.
Saturday I headed to Southside for a TCR washed car and wound up with no carwash, but in compensation had a fun lunch sharing drinks with some lovely derby girls. Later that night I went to the Plaza and had tons of fun chatting with the usual crowd plus extras I don't much see. I got punched in the face and kneed in the balls by a humorously belligerent drunk derby girl. Its also fun sometimes to remember what people are willing to tell you in a moment of drunken fun.
Now I'm tired and sore from taking an axe to a poplar tree that splintered the top half in a storm. I sat there for 15 minutes trying to rationalize how it fell where it did without smashing our house. The only conceivable explanation involves a somersault over the adjoining tree because the adjoining tree only had branches sheered off on the side opposite of the splintered tree.. What the fuck? I finally put into action Archimedes' lever obsession and moved a 1000 pound log by myself.
|Saturday, August 2nd, 2008|
|I think I felt a brain cell die
I wonder if I could correlate loss of simple memories to nights of drinking beforehand. I forgot how to spell address. A word I have spelled and used 10's of thousands of times before and suddenly I couldn't remember if it was one d or two d's. Every once in a while this happens and I wonder why I can just forget how to spell a word.
Summer astronomy class is over and to my surprise the country girls loved it and the sci/tech geeks didn't really care. I showed the country girls Jupiter through a telescope and you would have thought I had introduced them to Jesus they were so excited. In my best country girl accent: "I tell you what, mister, I'm gonna go home and tell everyone that's not a star, that's Jupiter and I saw it!"
|Sunday, June 8th, 2008|
|Friday, May 9th, 2008|
|Friday, May 2nd, 2008|
|Sunday, April 27th, 2008|
|What comes next?
Synchronicity is real, of this I have no more doubts. At least this one good thing came from a shit-tastic birthday.
Already odd thoughts are being manifested so easily, but still beyond full control. Its like placing an order at McDonald's with someone behind the counter who doesn't speak English, you generally get what you want, but they always fuck up the order somehow.
Birmingham Art Festival and drunken slutty chicks for the win!
|Wednesday, April 9th, 2008|
|Once again, Satan spoke
"Well, I will tell you, and you must understand if you can. You belong to a singular race. Every man is a suffering-machine and a happiness-machine combined. The two functions work together harmoniously, with a fine and delicate precision, on the give-and-take principle. For every happiness turned out in the one department the other stands ready to modify it with a sorrow or a pain -- maybe a dozen. In most cases the man's life is about equally divided between happiness and unhappiness. When this is not the case the unhappiness predominates -- always; never the other. Sometimes a man's make and disposition are such that his misery-machine is able to do nearly all the business. Such a man goes through life almost ignorant of what happiness is. Everything he touches, everything he does, brings a misfortune upon him. You have seen such people? To that kind of a person life is not an advantage, is it? It is only a disaster. Sometimes for an hour's happiness a man's machinery makes him pay years of misery. Don't you know that? It happens every now and then."
Mark Twain's Mysterious Stranger
|Sunday, March 30th, 2008|
|Love is an obsessional neuroses
When I was a freshman in high school I became obsessed with studying WWII. Over time it became the perfect education on humanity in that I came to hate humanity. If someone had dropped a button in front of me to blow the world up and everyone with it, I would have done so with minimal hesitation. But as I continued to study I found a few redeeming qualities in humanity that made me think we were worth preserving afterall. I was inspired by man's quest for knowledge and wisdom and this little thing love, which I barely understood. In time this became my quest, my purpose for being here. Love in particular inspired me by the notion of giving yourself to someone else, a pledge of honor and fealty. A companion in life to share all the beautiful moments with and someone to wrap your arms around when tragedy and misery were around.
Over time my beliefs, once so strong, have been chipped away little by little. All this knowledge and nothing to ever be done with it. Each amazing relationship with a wonderful woman, fizzled or left me disgusted with their true character. I have come to find myself with nothing left to believe in. No quest left to fight for and no goal to strive towards. And everything I can think to fill that void with is horribly lacking or a mental illusion.
I feel like an ant that has been given no commands by the Queen and so I pace in circles until I run out of energy and collapse.
Worst birthday ever.
|Monday, February 11th, 2008|
|That's a first
I was sitting at my computer late at night when I heard a loud crunch of metal and then an engine revving with wheels spinning on gravel. At first I thought it was a car wreck, but as I looked out my window I saw a car plowing its way up into the unfinished condo complex next door. The guy had barreled through the chain-locked, gated aluminum fence and floored it up the gravel path. He spun out in a sharp U-turn and immediately turned off his lights so naturally at that point I'm like, OK who is this guy running from? He gets out of his car and inspects the damage with the light from his cell phone, then gets back in and proceeds to peel out in gravel, going further up the path, I guess thinking there was a back way out. He was wrong. Then he leaves, driving back over the mangled fence and peels out on the street. And here is one for Mythbusters, the fence didn't fly open, busting the chain and lock when he drove through it a la James Bond style. The impact actually bent the whole fence over at the vertical poles. I need to go take a pic of the damage. Current Mood: amused
|Wednesday, January 23rd, 2008|
|For love of social networking
So I got's a Facebook and MySpace now.
Find me as Ryan Lawson on facebook.
Find me as heathen scientist on myspace.
Iffin you dare.
|If you were ever in doubt....
this is a fine example of a douchebag. I got to my Celtic civ class early and sat down, listening to music on my little old school walkman. Some guy walks in and sits down about 15 feet away, and he also is listening to music. But, it's so fucking loud the sound coming out of his earbuds that his music is drowning out my music and I could recognize the song he was sonically masturbating to as being from one of those NOW THIS IS WHAT I CALL ROCK 2000!!!!111 TV commercials. Then he proceeds to start air drumming on the seat in front of him and everyone else in the room is looking around making eye contact to communally conclude that this guy is in fact, the biggest douche in the class. I just really hate people sometimes. Current Mood: annoyed
|Friday, December 7th, 2007|
|Refill your bottle at the tap next time
Bottled water quality standards have been in place for nearly 35 years, and the industry is regulated by the Food and Drug Administration. But even bottled water industry officials don't claim it's better for you than tap water. "We think drinking water, whether it's bottled or tap water, is a good thing. I will not state that bottled water is healthier," says Joe Doss, president of the International Bottled Water Association (IBWA), which represents bottled water makers. Instead the association stresses that there are some "taste differences" and "convenience issues." "It just boils down to what consumers prefer," says Doss.
While clean water in any form is good for you, tap water is better for the environment. Bottled water is usually packaged in single-use bottles made from fossil fuels, says Janet Larsen, director of research for the Earth Policy Institute in Washington, D.C. And bottled water often travels long distances, which can burn a lot more fuel. This week, the EPI released new data that shows that manufacturing the 29 billion plastic bottles used for water in the United States requires the equivalent of more than 17 million barrels of crude oil.
|Monday, November 19th, 2007|
|And Satan said:
Are you so unobservant as not to have found out that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination? No sane man can be happy, for to him life is real, and he sees what a fearful thing it is. Only the mad can be happy, and not many of those.
Strange, indeed, that you should not have suspected that your universe and its contents were only dreams, visions, fiction! Strange, because they are so frankly and hysterically insane -- like all dreams: a God who could make good children as easily as bad, yet preferred to make bad ones; who could have made every one of them happy, yet never made a single happy one; who made them prize their bitter life, yet stingily cut it short; who gave his angels eternal happiness unearned, yet required his other children to earn it; who gave his angels painless lives, yet cursed his other children with biting miseries and maladies of mind and body; who mouths justice and invented hell -- mouths mercy and invented hell -- mouths Golden Rules, and forgiveness multiplied by seventy times seven, and invented hell; who mouths morals to other people and has none himself; who frowns upon crimes, yet commits them all; who created man without invitation, then tries to shuffle the responsibility for man's acts upon man, instead of honorably placing it where it belongs, upon himself; and finally, with altogether divine obtuseness, invites this poor, abused slave to worship him!...
from Mark Twain's Mysterious Stranger